ecstatic tantric dream visions

J A N U A R Y 1 4 , 2 0 1 8

ecstasy = obliteration of the self // separation dissolves into unification

“find ecstasy within yourself. it is not out there. it is in your innermost flowering.
the one you are looking for is you.” - osho

a new year of deep purification :: clearing the path for fertile, creational energy to surge through my life.

gentle experimentation with fasting (as a healer) has taught me so much about the relationship between mind and body, between attachment and suffering.

i’ve watched myself grapple with all kinds of deep suppressed emotions -- anger and fear primarily. i’ve witnessed fear and toxins and negativity and doubt leak out of my cells and wash away down the drains of countless devotional salt baths.

behold! a tremendous light dawning on the horizon of my future -- for the first time since journeying with iboga and entering the underworld of the self \ the dark night of the soul, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. (the light is in me)

i’m falling in love with my body again -- here in the dead of midwestern winter. inner dwelling. meditation. embodied mysticism. self touch. candle lit prayer. yoga in the dark of dawn + dusk. dream space (big initiations here!). my soul reveals secrets to me through dreams -- of what the felt embodiment of a certain experience is, and when i awake i literally have the cellular memory to draw upon. #dreamyoga

last night i dreamed of myself meditating. eyes closed. immersed in a transmission of tantra.
a livestream of the soul, playing behind my eyes as a vision, and within my energy field as a hand inside a glove, moving me from the inside out. shifting my insides into place so i could embody the essence . the true nature and meaning of tantra yoga.

pat and i dancing with energy :: a swirling unification.
tantra = embodied meditation. a weaving of oneself deep into the fabric of the experience.
merging, embracing, integrating all aspects of life, from the darkest to the lightest. accepting all, denying none.
sex is only one expression/training ground for tantra (it gets the most attention though).

tantra = consciousness merging, two become one.

i experience the dance of dissolution… and i witness the process.
the ego plays the antagonist >> it pushes and pulls (push = striving, pull = resisting). both yank us out of the center of one and split us in two (or more). move us in the opposite direction, away from the source.

i was shown, energetically, where to place my attention. how to make my awareness a container, expand it to encompass the entire field of experience, use it to focus/build the alchemy --dissolution of self, expanding endlessly in every direction, merging into the one.

a transcendence (immanence?) of form.

all awareness, focus and energy merges/ builds toward the unification.
all mind and body processes directed and contained there -- >one being< moving as itself.

the idea of orgasm disappears completely and all that is left is the dance. holding the dance. dissolving into it as it pulses and rises and becomes it’s own entity entirely. effortless, natural, an infinite expression of divine ecstasy and bliss.

i saw all this in my (dreaming) mind’s eye as my dreamself sit cross legged, spine straight, eyes closed.

i saw the vibration of thought. the psychitecture of the mind.
i followed the streams of my typical everyday mundane thinking, rippling out as currents, following familiar tracks, then suddenly becoming aware of itself, liberating itself from the confines / the grooves of repetition, limitation… elevating and reaching and rising all the way up the pillar into the heavens. the definition of “raise your vibration.” a newfound embodied, cellular memory of how to achieve it.

every single thought we think has a vibrational wave length which connects us like fibers to an endless web of potentials.
some fibers connect us to limiting beliefs/ narrow perspectives. others lead us straight to the heart of god/source/liberation, unlock the gates of heaven. may we choose wisely what lines we tether ourselves to. thinking is a choice (perhaps the most important one of all)

:::::

these dream blessings are one of my most cherished gifts. from whom? i do not know. to whom do i thank?
sometimes it feels like spirit -- masters, angels, ancestors.
other times (last night) it feels like me. deep, buried wisdom- high, all-knowing self… communicating through the vast mystical network// fertile void // imaginal realm of the subconscious.

whatever the source :: thank you, thank you, thank you.