waterfall streams & light beams

Jun 30

J U N E 3 0 , 2 0 1 5

i feel myself drifting.
where, i can’t be sure (maybe that’s the point -- getting lost in the right direction.)

i tend the microscopic spaces of my life. #criticalexpertise

the power of cellular shifts ::: in the body, in yoga, in an environment, in a tone of voice, or the quality of presence… subtle adjustments are a thousand times more powerful than any one large move.
they’re tiny transformations.
“small moves, ellie. small moves.” { carl sagan }

for the first time in 2,000 years jupiter and venus converge in the night sky. things feel highly charged^^^

i gaze up -- root down. my body is the grounding rod.

yoga in the warm sun on the back deck/ dragonfly visitations-- a holy fluttering friend.
i flirt with a change in perspective.
unmasking the self// removing the doubts i cast on my sense of identity.

getting free means making conscious choices on a moment-to-moment basis (truth cannot be accumulated- it must be streamed in real time. we have to trust our improvisational response, not use forethought // planning as a crutch, or we unplug from the stream altogether)

the soul is, by nature, irrational. it takes us places where the mind can’t follow.

i find myself standing in the stream.

i look up from my writing place outside by the waterfall and into the dark windows of my parents house. pat stands illuminated by a single stream of golden sunlight shining down from the skylights. * a light in the dark *
his long hair-- wisdom. body glowing, strong and pure. radiant star light, shining truth and love.
a sacred heart in human form.

i want to stand strong in my life. awake, aware, deeply true to who i am.
maybe i will be a tree. what kind of tree am i today?

maybe i’ll disappear out into the forest, get naked and dance until i drop.

maybe for my 30th birthday present to myself i’ll quit my job.
less because i don’t enjoy it and more because i crave a great leap. to release security // plunge into the unknown

to create my own life by my own hands.

i could work in a bookstore while writing a novel. sell my crafts at the farmers market. save up and take a year sabbatical.

i feel it so strongly -- i can do anything, as long as it’s mine.